ctu n la

ayan, nasa ctu na tayo...

24 stands for the longest 24 hours or day in the life of people looking after the national security of a nation. since limang seasons ito so far, then it means, limang araw pa lang ito as documented by ctu, hehehe...

top 10 na gusto ko sa 24

1. very intellectually stimulating - mahirap mahulaan ang plot and story, pero siguradong magugustuhan mo

2. mas madrama ang life ng mga casts, kaya hindi boring, unlike 'alias'

3. hindi limiting ang ways ni jack, his goals are clear and focused so he delivers, di siya nawawalan ng options to resolve the issues at hand

4. madaming good reflections on leadership styles nina palmer, keeler, logan, buchanan at madami pang iba...

5. palagi akong napapa-reflect sa reality that the real decisions are done when one is under much stressful and critical life-and-death situations, real decisions that are clearly reflecting the self

6. good venue to get to know the outcasts and unpopular as they come in the forms of marginalized or evil terrorists, who are, definitely, not misrepresented

7. mas madami at magkakaiba ang characters na pwedeng magturo ng maraming bagay sa iyo

8. mejo all of life ang pag-reveal at pag-build ng concerns ng mga casts - family dynamics, cultural, political, economics, etc.

9. mabilis ang mga pangyayari

10. madaming kingdom values

mas malawak na reflections later on...

season 5!

bakit kailangang pumasok sa eksena ang mga intsik?

marahil ay dahil naubos na nilang mailantad ang lahat na maaaring maging kaaway ng kanilang kapangyarihan at maging panganib sa pangkalahatang seguridad...

simula sa mga assassins, sa mga muslim na terorista, sa mga komunistang ruso, at maging sa mga kaaway sa loob ng kapangyarihan...

syempre pa, eh dapat me bago. kaya naman, pumasok na sa eksena ang mga intsik ngayong season 6! waahhh...

if you know what i am talking about, then we are friends!

frends at klasmeyts tayo sa klasrum na sikat sa tawag na bente kwarto. o di ba, titsers natin sina chloe, tony, bill, audrey, kim, michelle, nina, chase, david palmer, mike novick, aaron, john keeler, charles logan, curtis at syempre pa si JACK bauer kasama ng mga terorista...

at ang laboratory natin ay ang ctu la, waaahhh!

but seriously, i am into tracing some motiffs of deep leadership characters and vocational calling in this series. for those who are going through some life or mid-life transitions, hmmm, this is something really worth looking into...

itutuloy po...

crucible

*container for melting something
METALLURGY. a heat-resistant container in which ores or metals are melted

*bottom of furnace
METALLURGY. the hollow part at the bottom of a furnace where molten metal collects

*ordeal
a severe trial or ordeal

*testing circumstances
a place or set of circumstances where people or things are subjected to forces that test them and often make them change

a long list

given a chance to account my life, i can say without a bat of an eyelash, that i am one of the world's richest persons.

the honor is so much as to have been given the pleasure of the intangibles such as seeing what is there to see, finding meaning in life.

one clear intangible is the treasure of friends, both male and female, young and old.

if i may start my accounting with this long list of great women in my life...

inay kikay
mama
NCS

joey
reena
reylynne

dahlia
bebe
lorah

mutya
ging
yvet
di

flow
jinglet
lynn

shiela
jules
judith - a certain misis salamat

belen
ayneth
amor

ayet
joy
myrna
djoy

minette
myrna

olive
aking
jenny
loida

aque
nel
ailen
lally

to be continued...

avatar

*an incarnation of a Hindu deity in human or animal form, especially one of the incarnations of Vishnu such as Rama and Krishna

*embodiment of something - somebody who embodies, personifies, or is the manifestation of an idea or concept

*an image of a person in a virtual reality - computing a movable three-dimensional image that can be used to represent somebody in cyberspace, for example, an internet user

(from an english encarta dictionary)

motiff of reversal

tatlong uno
1.25, 1.50, 1.75
tatlong uno
tatlong himala

kahirapan
pighati
decision to quit
to run away

pagtakas
pagtakbo
pagtalikod
pagsuko

sa mundong hindi akin
bawal, di ako tanggap
second class citizen
second rate opinion

mahirap maging dayuhan
mahirap tanggihan ng karapatan
maging kakaiba at di kanais-nais
isang outsider sa mundong ginagalawan

but when all else failed
then you say otherwise
nothing else than
trusting beyond the self

why did i get those marks
undeserved, unworthy
but a real pleasant surprise
a real motiff of reversal

so what is the point
point of reflection
point of reference
than the point of grace

paradox, indeed!
real and true!
sweet surrender
sweet mercy flowing

smile

concealing
the agonies of the soul

misleading
the hoof marks of pain

revealing
the great joys of the heart

uncovering
such peace beyond understanding

paradox!

then there will be
imprints of such joy and peace
amidst all agonies and pains
there is no other way

sheer grace and mercy
mere speck of dust and dew
across a wide horizon
recipient of such amazing love

oh smile, how small and simple
yet, profound and able
to reveal, to conceal
deep mysteries and truths

joey

you came, the One-ordained moment
dinner under star-studded expanse
more than a candle-lit hush-hush
beyond words, across time

love expressed along the tangibles
creatively prepared meals for heart
one great chef for a night of tears
toasts, laughters, goodbyes, memories

birthdays, thirty years and growing
hellos, five years overflowing
but now, time for leave-taking
years and seas across mounting

silent retreats, profound thoughts
connections to the Maker
the One will see us through
these moments of making

Henri Nouwen, Elizabeth Elliot
transformations, social justice
spirituality and solitude
we will remain, bonded

i will... until the end
accountable, partners
i commit, will remain
will always be blessed

will ever be grateful
paalam joey
dear sister and friend
i will never be

never will be
the same again

joey...
intsik na merong
pusong pinoy
kaibigan, kasabwat

mababang kalooban
pusong dakila
bata ngunit matanda
babaeng kakaiba

malalim mag-isip
di pangkaraniwang kaluluwa
dakila ang tumawag sa iyo
tunay ngang dakila!!!

silence, solitude
prayers, tears
listen, heart
hush, my soul

a hundred and one

mukhang marami pa
ang pwedeng magbago
and dapat baguhin

mabubuting bagay
maiinam na asal
katangi-tanging katangian

kabutihan
kagalakan
kapayapaan

pag-ibig
pagpapahalaga
pagbubukas loob

pananampalataya
pagsunod
pagkalinga

paglilingkod
pag-angat ng kapakanan
ng iba kaysa sarili

katarungan
kabanalan
kaluwalhatian

sa Iyo po lamang
higit sa lahat
Siya nawa.

the hundredth time

none other than
a summer getaway
supposedly

but turned into
a real sunny outlook
instead

newness, freshness
happy disposition
liberation

metamorphosis
cheery me
freedom

haircut
get-up
lifestyle

U2 in another landslide at the recent grammies...

beyond the 32nd and time

this is more than what a broken earthen jar can ever ask for and imagine - to be an unfinished work of grace and a recipient of so much love... such gifts been so lavishedly endowed on a poor soul like me... on her 32nd!


the 31st...


there was a time that I was so afraid to ask questions... many questions that are hard and even answerless! but one thing is sure, one thing is certain. i am contented with life and that i can die anytime. the Lord has been good to me the past three decades.

i guess, i know now what it is to have JOY in the work God tasked me to do - to bloom where He planted me. i have lived a full life at 30. Yes, i do!

HE

He came to me with the most wonderful tenderness. He was afraid and I was afraid, but there it was, that openness; he was as delicate and fragile and beautiful as a flower, the blossom trembling in full bloom...
(Victoria Freeman)

He poured so gently and naturally into my life
like a batter into a bowl of batter.
Honey into a jar of honey.
The clearest water sinking into sand.
(Justine Sydney)

it never is

if you ever think that this is but easy for me, it never is!
not at all.

if you ever think that this is fine with me, it never is!
not at all.

this path is elusive to understanding
much more clarity...

this path is never free of fear and trembling
much more uncertainty...

don't ever think that this is alright with me... it never is!

this clear paradox!

('i am not alright'- a cut from sanctus real's album, that is
guess that's quite similar to this cry, to this handle
a mere coincidence? a mere circumstantial connivance?
a conspiracy out of nowhere... a conspiracy from on high...)

the 103rd... as translated by eugene peterson

oh my soul, bless GOD.
from head to toe, i'll bless his holy name!
oh my soul, bless GOD,
don't forget a single blessing!

he forgives your sins - every one.
he heals your diseases - every one.
he redeems you from hell - saves your life!
he crowns you with love and mercy - a paradise crown.
he wraps you in goodness - beauty eternal.
he renews your youth - you're always young in his presence.

itutuloy... ito ang gusto kong basahin sa aking funeral. kung merong pwedeng maglapat ng tunog, mas mainam. kung pwedeng gawin sa filipino, eh mas lalong mabuti...

the visits, the presence, the idealisms

i haven't been to such a great state of perplexity as that of two days ago, after visiting two powerful offices of the land. one is the office of a senator where his former chief of staff spent not less than three precious hours of listening and interacting with our idealism. the second one is a great political party, a first of its kind that we have met. one which gives premium on morality and spirituality which they call 'first things first.'

one full day, one great time of listening and wrestling with their idealisms, one powerful moment of perplexity... i will never be the same again.

changed... is changing... will be changed... again and again!

some reflections...

i will never cease to be an idealist nationalist. this nation is worth living, fighting, and dying for. this is my only home away from home. this is my lot, this is given to me.

talking to the right people helps a lot in gaining the right perspective. being with them for that day was like gaining insights from a crash course of 20 units/credits! what a life transforming experience. a real-life encounter with ideals and realities.

i discover that people of great spirituality are the ones who can lead best and powerfully. lifestyle leadership is the best form of leadership and one which this nation badly needed. a leadership by example, but a rare find. indeed, this nation is in crisis of leadership.

meeting them gives so much hope for the land... and that i can choose to be like them - to stay hopeful while doing something though small for the others and also for myself. and that many things start with the self... a life of example, a rootedness on something bigger than the self... a self-sacrificial stand, a willingness to serve others more than the self, a servant heart, a stewardship... a theology of the cross?

how can i ever remain the same?


(thank you senator nene pimentel and secretary/professor/ex-governor/attorney lutz barbo. thank you attorney nandy pacheco of the kapatiran sa pangkalahatang kabutihan!)

isaiah and zechariah

#49a

listen to me, you islands;
hear this, you distant nations:
before i was born the ONE called me;
from my birth he has made mention of my name.

he made my mouth like a sharpened sword,
in the shadow of his hands he hid me;
he made me into a polished arrow
and concealed me in his quiver.

he said to me, "You are my servant,
ISL, in whom I will display my splendor."

but I said, "I have labored to no purpose;
I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing.
yet what is due me is in the ONE's hand,
and my reward is with my God."

and now the ONE says -
he who formed me in the womb to be his servant
to bring JCB back to him
and gather ISL to himself,
for I am honored in the eyes of the ONE
and my G has been my strength -

he says:
"It is too small a thing for you to be my servant
to restore the tribes of JCB
and bring back those of ISL I have kept.
I will also make you a light for the GNLs,
that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth."

this is what the ONE says -
the Redeemer and Holy One of ISL -
to him who was despised and abhorred by the nation,
to the servant of rulers:

"Kings will see you and rise up,
princes will see and bow down,
because of the ONE, who is faithful,
the Holy One of ISL, who has chosen you."


#10

ask the ONE for rain in the springtime;
it is the ONE who makes the storm clouds.
he gives showers of rain to men,
and plants of the field to everyone.

the idols speak deceit,
diviners see visions that lie;
they tell dreams that are false,
they give comfort in vain.

therefore the people wander like sheep
oppressed for lack of a shepherd.

"My anger burst against the shepherds,
and I will punish the leaders;
for the ONE Great will care
for his flock, the house of JDH,
and make them like a proud horse in battle.

from JDH will come the cornerstone,
from him the tent peg,
from him the battle bow,
from him every ruler.

together they will be like mighty men
trampling the muddy streets in battle.
because the ONE is with them,
they will fight and overthrow the horsemen.

i will strengthen the house of JDH
and save the house of JSF.
i will restore them
because i have compassion on them.

they will be as though
i had not rejected them,
for i am the ONE their G
and i will answer them.

the EPH will become like mighty men,
and their hearts will be glad as with wine.
their children will see it and be joyful;
their hearts will rejoice in the ONE.

i will signal them and gather them in.
surely i will redeem them;
they will be as numerous as before.
though i scatter them among the peoples,
yet in distant lands they will remember me.
they and their children will survive,
and they will return.

i will bring them back from EGT
and gather them from ASSR.
i will bring them to GIL and LBN,
and there will not be room enough for them.

they will pass through the sea of trouble;
the surging sea will be subdued
and all the depths of the NLE will dry up.
ASSR's pride will be brought down
and EGT's scepter will pass away.

i will strengthen them in the ONE
and in his name they will walk,"
declares the ONE.

(meaningful interactions with the ONE... the former in seeking for direction and the confirmation on moving on. revealed on a recent retreat last january in baguio city. the latter in seeking answers as to why is there an awareness on the crisis of the land esp. that of political leadership. esp so after visiting one senator and one political party two days ago. the first experience led to clarity while the latter to perplexity...)

surprises, smiles, graces

once again, just like those many sacred moments of being, the heavens opened. showers of graces trickled down, smiles poured forth, mysteries unfolded.

once again, he touched the core which he alone can get through. it was a surprise, a most welcome inspiration.

the day was hard and stressful. too many things needed to be done. deadlines are in their deadliest. papers piled up. finish the work is the call of the time.

grace of all graces, the major deadline was met. it was done and off to production it kicked off. a diner treat at the fave vegetarian likha-diwa was most welcome. full, satisfied, yet tired and quite lonely, home awaited. only to be met by this inconspicuous unexpected moment.

he is a simple person, serving others untiringly, inspiring them with his witty observations and appreciation of life while bringing them safely home. he noticed life, talked about it, and surprise of all surprises, serves wholeheartedly generous! he did not let me pay for his service. it was for free, it was gladly given, it was a gift from the heart! and i cannot take it for granted. i should not even think of neglecting it.

what an honor, what a privilege, what an undeserved favor. may the One who holds all things to him and himself honor such great and powerful intention. may it remain pure and beautiful in the sight of the One who makes all things new and good!

how can i ever thank you, manong!? for the smile, for the honor of receiving such love, for the inspiration, for the grace unfolding, for the doors of heavens which opened wide enough for me to notice. i am most grateful and joyful! i am one soul greatly honored and deeply touched.

('di ko siya kilala, ngunit kanyang naarok ang aking puso at damdamin. paano mangyayari na ako ay kanyang napansin? maari kaya iyon? isang maliit na 'act of kindness' ngunit habang buhay na hindi makakaligtaan. sino ang pwedeng makalimot? sa oras ng matinding kapaguran at pangangailangan ay dumating ang isang inspirasyon. isang anghel kaya siya? hulog ng langit, iyan ay sigurado. how can it ever happen? angels in disguise of a tricycle driver... help me to notice him, them.)

connecting with culture: my way

What piece of music will be played at your funeral? Hopefully, you’ll have plenty of time to think about it. But songs can movingly reflect and express the kind of person we are (or were). According to one survey recently, the most popular piece of ‘contemporary’ music (as opposed to classical or religious) to be played as we face the final curtain is Frank Sinatra’s ‘My Way’. Ol’ Blue Eyes is certainly still a draw; the advance ticket sales for ‘Sinatra at the Palladium’, which opened this month, were over £3m. And ‘My Way’ itself has all-age appeal as a classic hymn to our uniqueness and individual swagger. ‘Through it all, when there was doubt, I ate it up and spat it out,’ it boasts. ‘I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way.’ Christians, surely, can learn from Sinatra’s verve. After all, according to Psalm 139, we are ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’; we each have a unique iris and a unique way of seeing the world. Too often, we stand back when we have something to contribute that no one else on earth could do in quite the same way. Yet we also face a point of departure from the song when Sinatra hits his final crescendo: ‘For what is a man? What has he got? If not himself – then he has naught. To say the things he truly feels And not the words of one who kneels…’ The sentiment contrasts with U2’s recent hit ‘Vertigo’, a mesmerising song written by Bono warning of the temptations and sickening dizziness of climbing the ladder. ‘Your love is teaching me how to kneel,’ he concludes. That’s not to let us off the challenge to do what we can and to do it well. The ‘parable of the talents’ offers a frank warning to the person who won’t take risks with what they’ve personally been given to work with; Eugene Petersen, in the Message, describes them as a ‘play-it-safe who won’t go out on a limb’. But it is, once we’ve identified our own strengths, to play to them hard for the sake of the upside-down world of the kingdom. To say (and do) the things we feel - as the words of one who kneels. And that, I hope, in the end, will have been my way. Brian Draper		the most popular song to be played at funerals is Frank Sinatra’s ‘My Way’
		Christians, surely, can learn from Sinatra’s verve

CLICK HERE - www.licc.org.uk/culture/my-way - FOR MORE INFO AND TO HAVE YOUR SAY

the ninetieth

metanoia, n.

a spiritual conversion or awakening
fundamental change of character

etymology
Gk. 'change one's mind, repent'

P A G H U H U N O S - D I L I ?

paghuhunos kagaya ng pagpapalit ng balat ng isang sawa
likas na dapat at bahagi ng buhay
kailangan, di maiiwasan
pagbabago

pagdidili-dili, pagbubulay-bulay
pag-iisip-isip, kung anong nararapat
para di magkamali
pagbabago man din