there is this place...

there is this place
where i always tend to go to
both in times of brokenness
and that of refreshing

when times are hard and low
and also those filled with graces
when things are clear and well
also when times are tough

there is this place
where i always tend to go to
when times are uncertain
as well as those moments of joy

when things are unwell
too many intersections
when crossing is always hard
when decisions need to be done

this place is given
this place i go to
this place directs me to Him
this place i call HOME.

there is this place
i call HOME
this place when i am on my knees
in utter dependence on Him alone

this place of goodness
where gratefulness abounds
where He is always there
never quiet, never far...

a passionate letter

Dear Boss,

Greetings. Thank you for sharing some important details about the csd. They will surely be very helpful for us. Thank you so much.

I will be leaving in a few hours for bcd. As a response to your request, I am writing my intention of going there, which is, to see for myself the potential of the place for the needed change in the way we do things or camp for that matter. I do not believe that this gift that the new campsite has been and is becoming to us, is but an accident. I believe that as we had been praying for change and potential growth for each year's camp, the One is responding in ways beyond ourselves and those that we have asked for. I just do not want to miss seeing for myself what this campsite will be for us as a movement, as a team of staffworkers for the coming KC, and as an ordinary follower of Isah. There are and will be crucial decisions that we will be doing the coming days and we do not want to miss anything that the One can do in and through us with this new gift to us. It is different to see this gift with eyes that look beyond what is seen and felt. It is different to see this gift with eyes that look both at the risk and the potentials of growth and change! It is different to see this gift with eyes that look forward to faith and grace-filled encounter with the One.

That we do not want to miss! For that, I will come, I will see, I will hear, I will feel, I will taste, I will smell, what the One has prepared for us! and for that, i risked and will continue to risk for the sake of the One who called me. After all, He never failed us and He will never fail us, no matter what! even if we fail so many times... and despite all our weaknesses.

Sincerely,
~ Shajarah

(this came about after a stressful encounter and argument with my boss whom i thought to be on my side, whom i expected to be my 'defender' and one of my strong support this time of dire need for upliftment and strength. after all, magdi-direct lang naman ako ng isang national leadership training ng mga filipinong estudyante sa loob ng isang buwan sa susunod sa summer, sa isang malayong bundok ng visayas. whew! when the unexpected comes, expect nothing but the coming out of what's best in you and for others. servanthood test drive ba ito? running to the ultimate source and the bottomline of everything, when all else failed! hehehe... what an experience! what an encounter! what a change! i love changes pa naman!)

haggai reflections

general information...

he is a nabi (messenger)
his name means, 'my feast'
his oracles are the most precisely dated ones in the entire Book
his book is the second smallest in the Old Book (Obadiah being the smallest), and consists of but thirty-eighth verses only


some personal thoughts about his oracles...

his oracles came clearly from the One who spoke and all of them were fulfilled. there was a clear authority and integrity of his Source, that Source of all he has spoken of. "I am the One who has spoken..."

finding myself always in the lack of the essentials... or of everything... 'as you have been gathering your harvest and keeping them in bags full of holes...' am i gathering my stuff in pockets with holes? where is my motive of doing things coming from? where is it going to? what is the full measure and reasons of all these? why am i doing what i'm doing?

am i being defiled by my own self-centeredness and own reasons and measurements of life and living? am i being misled by my own reflections?

why are things not enough? my clothes do not keep me warm, my wages are slipping over the holes of my bags, my food and water are not enough... 'all your hard work will be for nothing!'

what is the Temple that i missed and still missing? that once glorious Temple? what's the main point? the bulls eye? am i terribly missing the mark or simply hitting the wrong mark, the outside mark?

return to the King... so that, 'from now on, things will get better... Today you have completed the foundation for my Temple, so listen to what your future will be like. although you have not yet harvested any grain, grapes, figs, pomegranates, or olives, i will richly bless you in the days ahead.'

'but tell my servant Zerubbabel of J that i am going to shake the heavens and the earth and wipe out kings and their kingdoms. i will overturn war chariots, and then cavalry troops will start slaughtering each other. but tell my servant Zerubbabel that I, the LORD All-Powerful, have chosen him, and he will rule in my name.' what a final declaration of the One chosen!


book study for december

worldviews

I HOPE GOD THINKS LIKE THAT

There is a dog I sometimes take for a walk
and turn loose in a field,

when I can't give her that freedom
I feel in debt.

I hope God thinks like that and

is keeping track of all
the bliss He
owes
me.

(worldview 1: from alfathi, a classmate in islamic studies)

so this is a worldview, their worldview... which continue to break my heart. i am deeply crushed each time i would read this. and i remember one class discussion we had wherein i finally decided to speak my heart out. after listening to a series of my classmates and professor's thoughts on God's unfairness, i finally broke my silence. i simply lost my resolve to remain a silent observer as an obvious outsider. and guess what, after breaking my silence with that burning thought in my heart, i never expected that everyone will fall silent... such deafening silence!!! esp that of our professor's. normally, whenever i speak, i try to see their context and reply with an affirmation of the Book in their context, as they have too many worldviews that are really Book-supporting and related. as obviously, their own books are believed to be derived from the Book. but, not this time... how can God owe us? how can He owe us a lot? the Book says, God owes no one anything... not even to that one man who went through so much pain and suffering. this man cannot in any way find God in debt of him. and his name is Job. all he can say is, 'blessed be His name!'

i pray that His creation will continue to see, feel, hear, taste, smell, and experience His great love and mercy... His abounding patience and grace, His unfailing kindness and goodness, His unending faithfulness.



GOOD THING, MY GOD THINKS THIS WAY

'All people have disobeyed God,
and that's why He treats them as prisoners.

But He does this,
so that He can have mercy on all of them.

Who can measure the wealth and wisdom
and knowledge of God?

Who can understand His decisions
or explain what He does?

Has anyone known
the thoughts of the Lord
or given Him advice?

Has anyone loaned something
to the Lord that must be repaid?

Everything comes from the Lord.

All things were made because of Him
and will return to Him.

Praise the Lord forever!

Amen.'

inspiring thoughts for today

"We are not saved for nothing, for it is the fullness of God's grace in our lives that would stir up divine discontent in others."
(a nice quote i saw at the gencross egroup...)

"There are three stages in every great work of God. First it is impossible, then it is difficult, then it is done."
(by James Hudson Taylor)

"... a deep longing to be heard, like someone close to dying, a lonely heart's painful sighing." ;-)
(from the famed KD)

"That day, when you sent me out so boldly to change the world, don't you think there wouldn't be any cost?"
(by Martin Luther, 1521 in Worms Germany)

"Watch out, wait, and be utterly amazed!"
(Habakkuk)

"We must be the change we wish to see in the world."
(Mahatma Gandhi)

"The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention."
(anonymous, from a big frame in bcd)