surprised by joy!

cs lewis said this when he attempted to describe his encounter with (or was it, he was encountered by?) his Creator... yes, that's all we can afford to do, but attempt! words are insufficient to fully grasp, more so comprehend such encounter and encounters. words are handicap in many ways.

yet, attempt we can, so attempt we must. attempt is all i can do now. yes, surprised by joy! such unspeakable joy.

moment one was when noel, one fingerprint in my hat as a teacher/coach, called to discuss once again some dissonance in his current journey as a law student. good thing, he missed his usual call time of 2 or 3 or 4 in the morning. yeah, just the wee hours of the morning. when the nocturnal republic is up and about.

anywayz, ayun... mga bandang alas otso, nagsumbong na naman siya dahil nababagabag daw siya sa kaguluhan sa ating bansa! wow!!! and that his disturbance prompts him to take action, to participate in the on-going cry of the people for change... for a better country... siyempre, he started with asking my readings of the time and how am i responding as a filipino christian. wow, hanep! siyempre, ambush yun. pero okay lang as i was more than glad to also share my own struggles and disturbances.

what struck me most was when he started sharing about his convictions and thoughts. he is one ideal youth that this land needs. he is one with dreams, good dreams for this land and its people. in fact, he wanna start it with their kasambahay, with his parents, then his classmates. he listened to the sentiments of their kasambahay against the abuses of the gov't towards the economically challenged like her. his heart is broken for them. so he prodded his parents to join him at edsa tres. then this time, he is asking his classmates to join him in a secret org to fights for a change in the land through writing... just like the la liga or the la solidaridad!!! dream on, noel...

we had a little argument at the end as i attempted to also allow him to see both sides well, as he has the tendency, too, (just like anyone of us) to be one-sided, too much leaning on one part alone of the two-faced-coin-reality. too much passion and conviction can be blinding at times, as we normally experience. his contention at times would look like pgma is too dirty while the rest of the celebrated united oppositions are too clean and truly untouchables.

but the reality is that we really have a crisis in leadership. this is where we started to grasp the bottomline. we lack real men and women with integrity and strong political resolve as leaders. we lack real statesmen who has a track record of good public service. we are in a crisis of leaders like ninoy aquino, romulo and recto of the early philippine republic, and maybe the likes of magsaysay and rizal. had it not been for this, we would have had a better resolve at the moment. no political system is too inefficient and corrupt to a leader of strong political resolve and integrity!

moment two was when i aciidentally bumped into dennis' well trodden path. he is another fingerprint in my teaching/coaching hat way back in the faraway kingdom of hills and rivers. my saint anthony years were truly colorful imprints in my heart. he's reviewing still at UP in between the bar exams this whole month. (tama ba yun?) at me kasama pa siyang friend, si marivic.

oh well, mukhang matanda na nga akong talaga, hehehe... yet, again, it's worth it. masaya, no, more than that ang feeling ko. reconnecting with him is nostalgic. grabe. we seem unable to simply let go of our past. there is always a part of us that fails and rejects to let go. lingering with the past is such an incurable disease of the heart and mind. a romance with the past is one bad habit. or was it an amnesia of the soul?

we talked about life in the saint anthony republic and the nearby kingdoms. we talked about our own lives now, decisions done, decisions to be made, hopes and dreams, mistakes committed, relationships, family. we also spend some limited leisure time on people and events. and all in all, we were inspired! we're both looking forward to meeting again with the rest of the gang here in peyups for one.

i was inspired. i was surprised. i was overjoyed.

i am excited. i am recharged. i am emotionally satisfied. it is well with my soul... amen!