relinquishing...

all power. all control. all influence.

giving up. letting go.

how is it to relinquish all forms and sense of self and being? and instead surrender, retreat or withdraw? and instead be quiet and tamed?

this is part of my current state of being. if the state of the nation can be called chaotic, mine is way beyond that. my friends call it an early mid-life syndrome or crisis, maybe, for a lack of better words.

i feel a deep surge of loosing all shapes and colors of my very strong controlling habits. what for? why, oh, why, indeed?

one thing is certain. mine is a story in the making. i am simply an unfinished song. life is a constant drifting from the east to the west, from the north to the south. there is and there will always be a transformation. or is it completion? or perfection?

i am not and will never be in control no matter how hard i keep my rein. this truth remains.

must i, then, muster the attitude of relinquishing? up to what extent can i and i am willing to give up? until when should i let go?

i know not. and i may never know in this lifetime or even in eternity.

but it does not matter. as long as, i know that which really matters. after all, that is what matters most!