The Nabi and The Rusul said:

"If any of you want to be my followers, you must forget about yourself. You must take up your cross and follow me. If you want to save your life, you will destroy it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find it. What will you gain, if your own the whole world but destroy yourself? what would you give back your soul?"

"The Son of Man will soon come in the glory of my Father and with his angels to rewards all people for what they have done. I promise you that some of those standing here will not die before they see the Son of Man coming with his kingdom."

The paradox, the paradox! Just how can it ever be? But in every suffering and death, there is joy, reward and life abounding... new birth, new life, new hope, new grace and everlasting love!

Prayer of Rupert Mayer

Lord, what You will let it be so.
Where You will, there we will go.
What is Your will? Help us to know.

Lord, when You will, the time is right.
In You there's joy in strife.
For Your will I'll give my life.

To ease Your burden brings no pain.
To forego all for You is gain,
as long as I in You remain.

Because You will it, it is best.
Because You will it, we are blest.
Till in Your hands, our hearts find rest,
till in Your hands, our hearts find rest.

too many interesting women

two days ago
that rainy sunday afternoon
over a yellow corn and isaw at sanggumay
dreaming moments with kalai
IIS classmate, friend and fellow inclusivist

trying hard visionaries
for a cause bigger than life
one beyond us for others
the muslim in the south
school, research, historical accounts
grassroots needs based, Sulu, ARMM

together for others!
adobo secrets, too! hahaha...

heard from A of the A land
jilbabs, UNICEF and int'l NGOs
a finnish lady, a belgian lady, a filipina
on da vinci code, jesus mystery, parables
for the A women and families

here comes florence aka flow
over breakfast today
nice and new avatar
business, money, travel agency
rizal and the young patriots
trips to mumbai and delhi

jesi, oh jesi march
on men and relationships
long distance friendship and mentoring
lessons on waiting, longings, love and service
exciting, interesting, hard, grace-filled...

then, there's ida and lorah
mutya and yvette
hanggang sa muli...

ano pa ho ang nais Niyo?

araw-araw ng paglalakbay na patay sa sarili... pagtalikod at pag-iwan ng mga bagay-bagay, pag-uugali, kinagawian, kagustuhan at pangarap na taliwas sa Inyong kagustuhan.

lahat ng iyon ay dahil sa Inyong dakilang awa, kapangyarihan, pagkalinga at gabay... lahat ng iyon ay dahil sa Inyong dakilang kagustuhang ako ay maging kawangis ng Inyong Anak... maging maganda at kaiga-igaya sa Inyong harapan!

what do You still want from me, Lord? i have given everything to You. i have given up all my dreams and desires. i have been in the never-ending path of relinquishing... what else do You want? what else do you demand me stripped of?

all controls... all dreams... all wishes... all desires... You have taken them! all of them!

ano pa ho ang nais Niyo? ano pa ang nais Nyong mangyari sa buhay ko? ano pa, aking Ama?

aking tinalikuran ang daan ng self-sufficiency, ng independence, ng aking sariling kagustuhan, plano at naisin... kaya nga at ako'y nagka-relasyon ng wala sa aking plano. kaya nga't tinanggap ko siya ng buong puso bilang inyong kaloob at naisin para sa akin sa panahon at bahaging ito ng buhay. kaya nga at tinahak ko ng matiwasay at may pagtitiwala ang paglalakbay na ito kasama niya. tanging naisin ko po ay ang sumunod sa Inyo at matutong lalong magtiwala.

aking tinalikuran ang comfort zone ng isang pamilyang naghubog, nagmahal, tumanggap sa akin sa loob ng anim na taon at mahigit... at ngayon ay iyong kinuha pa ang kaisa-isang bagay na magpapaalala sa akin ng mga nabuong pangarap at buhay kasama sila. bakit po? bakit pa?

and as if those are not enough, you are asking me to leave behind my family, my parents, all our plans in the family, my country, my dreams with my people, my own hope for a better life in the future with my own family, all my small dreams of simple joys and comforts, my little desires for the basics in life - food, clothing, shelter, education, decent home, decent job, simple lifestyle...

i know it because You are clearly pointing me to the opposite of all these... why, oh why?

why are You leading me to a homeless existence and future, not just for myself but even for my family? why an indecent job for the sake of a so-called calling? why a complicated potential lifestyle of cross-cultural existence? why leave behind my dream for a life of a scholar? why a simple existence of basic food and clothing? why, indeed?

but, i know that in the end, Kayo pa din ang mananalo... talo pa din ako! Kayo pa din ang masusunod... in the final analysis of things.

how does a 20 year old faith journey looks like?

hayy... i'm really so sad i know that today is my 20th spiritual birthday. but i dont know why it started with such a traumatic experience...

i just remembered that a few days ago, the Lord has been leading me to a striking encounter with matt 11.25-30... where the invitation is to rest in Jesus and learn of his humility and gentleness... where the invitation is to take the yoke that Jesus gave and put it on my shoulders... where the invitation is to bear the yoke that is easy and light... where the invitation is to come and receive the rest that Jesus reserved for those who are weary and tired from carrying heavy burdens...

my heavy burdens are:

loosing just a year old cellphone and having such trauma of being robbed almost every year the past 3-4 years... but this one is the worst - being doubly robbed of the security of a home!

being the one to be blamed for the same looses of my two brothers... one brother loosing his own cellphone, too, and some huge amount for his family's moving on expenses... and another brother loosing another huge amount which is supposedly for my father's cellphone, too...

why, oh why? my lot was set today...

but i am destined for a choice... and i choose the yoke that is light and easy... and i choose the path to rest and well-being...

the Lord is good and His love endures forever... this remains and will remain even after a thousand more 20 years ahead... what a sustaining grace! what a love divine! what a great wonder! what a miracle...