the 103rd... as translated by eugene peterson

oh my soul, bless GOD.
from head to toe, i'll bless his holy name!
oh my soul, bless GOD,
don't forget a single blessing!

he forgives your sins - every one.
he heals your diseases - every one.
he redeems you from hell - saves your life!
he crowns you with love and mercy - a paradise crown.
he wraps you in goodness - beauty eternal.
he renews your youth - you're always young in his presence.

itutuloy... ito ang gusto kong basahin sa aking funeral. kung merong pwedeng maglapat ng tunog, mas mainam. kung pwedeng gawin sa filipino, eh mas lalong mabuti...

the visits, the presence, the idealisms

i haven't been to such a great state of perplexity as that of two days ago, after visiting two powerful offices of the land. one is the office of a senator where his former chief of staff spent not less than three precious hours of listening and interacting with our idealism. the second one is a great political party, a first of its kind that we have met. one which gives premium on morality and spirituality which they call 'first things first.'

one full day, one great time of listening and wrestling with their idealisms, one powerful moment of perplexity... i will never be the same again.

changed... is changing... will be changed... again and again!

some reflections...

i will never cease to be an idealist nationalist. this nation is worth living, fighting, and dying for. this is my only home away from home. this is my lot, this is given to me.

talking to the right people helps a lot in gaining the right perspective. being with them for that day was like gaining insights from a crash course of 20 units/credits! what a life transforming experience. a real-life encounter with ideals and realities.

i discover that people of great spirituality are the ones who can lead best and powerfully. lifestyle leadership is the best form of leadership and one which this nation badly needed. a leadership by example, but a rare find. indeed, this nation is in crisis of leadership.

meeting them gives so much hope for the land... and that i can choose to be like them - to stay hopeful while doing something though small for the others and also for myself. and that many things start with the self... a life of example, a rootedness on something bigger than the self... a self-sacrificial stand, a willingness to serve others more than the self, a servant heart, a stewardship... a theology of the cross?

how can i ever remain the same?


(thank you senator nene pimentel and secretary/professor/ex-governor/attorney lutz barbo. thank you attorney nandy pacheco of the kapatiran sa pangkalahatang kabutihan!)

isaiah and zechariah

#49a

listen to me, you islands;
hear this, you distant nations:
before i was born the ONE called me;
from my birth he has made mention of my name.

he made my mouth like a sharpened sword,
in the shadow of his hands he hid me;
he made me into a polished arrow
and concealed me in his quiver.

he said to me, "You are my servant,
ISL, in whom I will display my splendor."

but I said, "I have labored to no purpose;
I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing.
yet what is due me is in the ONE's hand,
and my reward is with my God."

and now the ONE says -
he who formed me in the womb to be his servant
to bring JCB back to him
and gather ISL to himself,
for I am honored in the eyes of the ONE
and my G has been my strength -

he says:
"It is too small a thing for you to be my servant
to restore the tribes of JCB
and bring back those of ISL I have kept.
I will also make you a light for the GNLs,
that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth."

this is what the ONE says -
the Redeemer and Holy One of ISL -
to him who was despised and abhorred by the nation,
to the servant of rulers:

"Kings will see you and rise up,
princes will see and bow down,
because of the ONE, who is faithful,
the Holy One of ISL, who has chosen you."


#10

ask the ONE for rain in the springtime;
it is the ONE who makes the storm clouds.
he gives showers of rain to men,
and plants of the field to everyone.

the idols speak deceit,
diviners see visions that lie;
they tell dreams that are false,
they give comfort in vain.

therefore the people wander like sheep
oppressed for lack of a shepherd.

"My anger burst against the shepherds,
and I will punish the leaders;
for the ONE Great will care
for his flock, the house of JDH,
and make them like a proud horse in battle.

from JDH will come the cornerstone,
from him the tent peg,
from him the battle bow,
from him every ruler.

together they will be like mighty men
trampling the muddy streets in battle.
because the ONE is with them,
they will fight and overthrow the horsemen.

i will strengthen the house of JDH
and save the house of JSF.
i will restore them
because i have compassion on them.

they will be as though
i had not rejected them,
for i am the ONE their G
and i will answer them.

the EPH will become like mighty men,
and their hearts will be glad as with wine.
their children will see it and be joyful;
their hearts will rejoice in the ONE.

i will signal them and gather them in.
surely i will redeem them;
they will be as numerous as before.
though i scatter them among the peoples,
yet in distant lands they will remember me.
they and their children will survive,
and they will return.

i will bring them back from EGT
and gather them from ASSR.
i will bring them to GIL and LBN,
and there will not be room enough for them.

they will pass through the sea of trouble;
the surging sea will be subdued
and all the depths of the NLE will dry up.
ASSR's pride will be brought down
and EGT's scepter will pass away.

i will strengthen them in the ONE
and in his name they will walk,"
declares the ONE.

(meaningful interactions with the ONE... the former in seeking for direction and the confirmation on moving on. revealed on a recent retreat last january in baguio city. the latter in seeking answers as to why is there an awareness on the crisis of the land esp. that of political leadership. esp so after visiting one senator and one political party two days ago. the first experience led to clarity while the latter to perplexity...)

surprises, smiles, graces

once again, just like those many sacred moments of being, the heavens opened. showers of graces trickled down, smiles poured forth, mysteries unfolded.

once again, he touched the core which he alone can get through. it was a surprise, a most welcome inspiration.

the day was hard and stressful. too many things needed to be done. deadlines are in their deadliest. papers piled up. finish the work is the call of the time.

grace of all graces, the major deadline was met. it was done and off to production it kicked off. a diner treat at the fave vegetarian likha-diwa was most welcome. full, satisfied, yet tired and quite lonely, home awaited. only to be met by this inconspicuous unexpected moment.

he is a simple person, serving others untiringly, inspiring them with his witty observations and appreciation of life while bringing them safely home. he noticed life, talked about it, and surprise of all surprises, serves wholeheartedly generous! he did not let me pay for his service. it was for free, it was gladly given, it was a gift from the heart! and i cannot take it for granted. i should not even think of neglecting it.

what an honor, what a privilege, what an undeserved favor. may the One who holds all things to him and himself honor such great and powerful intention. may it remain pure and beautiful in the sight of the One who makes all things new and good!

how can i ever thank you, manong!? for the smile, for the honor of receiving such love, for the inspiration, for the grace unfolding, for the doors of heavens which opened wide enough for me to notice. i am most grateful and joyful! i am one soul greatly honored and deeply touched.

('di ko siya kilala, ngunit kanyang naarok ang aking puso at damdamin. paano mangyayari na ako ay kanyang napansin? maari kaya iyon? isang maliit na 'act of kindness' ngunit habang buhay na hindi makakaligtaan. sino ang pwedeng makalimot? sa oras ng matinding kapaguran at pangangailangan ay dumating ang isang inspirasyon. isang anghel kaya siya? hulog ng langit, iyan ay sigurado. how can it ever happen? angels in disguise of a tricycle driver... help me to notice him, them.)

connecting with culture: my way

What piece of music will be played at your funeral? Hopefully, you’ll have plenty of time to think about it. But songs can movingly reflect and express the kind of person we are (or were). According to one survey recently, the most popular piece of ‘contemporary’ music (as opposed to classical or religious) to be played as we face the final curtain is Frank Sinatra’s ‘My Way’. Ol’ Blue Eyes is certainly still a draw; the advance ticket sales for ‘Sinatra at the Palladium’, which opened this month, were over £3m. And ‘My Way’ itself has all-age appeal as a classic hymn to our uniqueness and individual swagger. ‘Through it all, when there was doubt, I ate it up and spat it out,’ it boasts. ‘I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way.’ Christians, surely, can learn from Sinatra’s verve. After all, according to Psalm 139, we are ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’; we each have a unique iris and a unique way of seeing the world. Too often, we stand back when we have something to contribute that no one else on earth could do in quite the same way. Yet we also face a point of departure from the song when Sinatra hits his final crescendo: ‘For what is a man? What has he got? If not himself – then he has naught. To say the things he truly feels And not the words of one who kneels…’ The sentiment contrasts with U2’s recent hit ‘Vertigo’, a mesmerising song written by Bono warning of the temptations and sickening dizziness of climbing the ladder. ‘Your love is teaching me how to kneel,’ he concludes. That’s not to let us off the challenge to do what we can and to do it well. The ‘parable of the talents’ offers a frank warning to the person who won’t take risks with what they’ve personally been given to work with; Eugene Petersen, in the Message, describes them as a ‘play-it-safe who won’t go out on a limb’. But it is, once we’ve identified our own strengths, to play to them hard for the sake of the upside-down world of the kingdom. To say (and do) the things we feel - as the words of one who kneels. And that, I hope, in the end, will have been my way. Brian Draper		the most popular song to be played at funerals is Frank Sinatra’s ‘My Way’
		Christians, surely, can learn from Sinatra’s verve

CLICK HERE - www.licc.org.uk/culture/my-way - FOR MORE INFO AND TO HAVE YOUR SAY

the ninetieth

metanoia, n.

a spiritual conversion or awakening
fundamental change of character

etymology
Gk. 'change one's mind, repent'

P A G H U H U N O S - D I L I ?

paghuhunos kagaya ng pagpapalit ng balat ng isang sawa
likas na dapat at bahagi ng buhay
kailangan, di maiiwasan
pagbabago

pagdidili-dili, pagbubulay-bulay
pag-iisip-isip, kung anong nararapat
para di magkamali
pagbabago man din

confessions... freedom

coming out
revelations
confrontations
metanoia

to lay the cards down
to bare the heart out
to seek that which is real
to open up and speak the truth

honesty
is still the best policy
the truth
which will always prevail

to be set free!
once and for all!

the long awaited face and violin

WHAT SUFFERING is... as experienced by Paul

... and now i am happy
about my sufferings for you,
for by means of my physical sufferings
i help complete what still remains
of the Son's sufferings on behalf of his body,
which is the church

... and i have been made a servant
of the church by the Father,
who gave me this task to perform
for your good

it is the task of fully proclaiming his message
which is the secret he hid through all past ages
from all mankind,
but has now revealed to his people

for this is the Father's plan:
to make known his secret to his people,
this rich and glorious secret
which he has for all peoples

and the secret is this:
the Son is in you,
which means that you will share
the glory of the Father

so we preach the Son to all men
we warn and teach everyone,
with all possible wisdom,
in order to bring each one
into the Father's presence
as a mature individual
in union with the Son

to get this done
i toil and struggle,
using the mighty strength
the the Son supplies,
which is at work in me.

WHO HE IS... as revealed to paul

his person and work...

he is the visible likeness of the invisible Being
he is the first-born Son,
superior to all created things

for by him the Father created
everything in heaven and on earth,
the seen and the unseen things,
including spiritual powers,
lords, rulers, and authorities

the Father created the whole universe
through him and for him
he existed before all things,
and in union with him
all things have their proper place

he is the head of his body, the church;
he is the source of the body's life;
he is the first-born Son
who was raised from death,
in order that he alone might have
the first place in all things

for it was by the Father's own decision
that the Son has in himself
the full nature of the God

through the Son, then,
the Father decided to bring
the whole universe back
to himself

the Father made peace
through his Son's death on the cross,
and so brought back to himself all things,
both on earth and in heaven

at one time you were far away from the Father
and made yourselves his enemies
by the evil things you did and thought

but now,
by means of the physical death of his Son,
the Father made you his friends,
in order to bring you,
holy and pure and innocent,
into his presence

you must, of course, continue faithful
on a firm and sure foundation,
and not allow yourselves to be shaken
from the hope you gained
when you heard the love story

it is of this love story that I,
Paul, became a servant -
this love story which has been proclaimed
to everyone in the world!

a journey of faith

... is not the eradication of poverty and suffering
nor a change of social status from poor to middle class
it is not an accumulation of properties and doodads
nor a hoarding of degrees and titles

but, a place of the truest riches and purest wealth

where one grows to see the beauty of life
that bright side of the world
where butterflies and moths fly
where the grasses and flowers thrive

where people matters the most
where relationships grow and linger
where trust and hope and love pervade
where the heart of the matter is the heart!

where joy and peace find permanent residence
where one finds home in the bossom of love
the love eternal, enduring, perfect
the hope in grace, trust in mercy

where faith is the real wealth
seeing much even in darkness and nothingness
where ordinary men and women
make extraordinary bold steps in life

where seeing the unseen is reality
where knowing the unknown is ordinary
where one discerns that only with
the invisible eye can the essentials be seen

for it is only with the heart
that one can
see rightly
hear clearly
love deeply
trust fully

journey in faith
growing in love
in peace and hope
in trust and belief

for what the heart sees and feels
only the heart understands
and what really matters
as long as being endures

in His time
in His ways
in His call
in His heart!

to Him who holds all things
to whom everything belongs
and find their being
to whom everything will go...

random life

Erwin Raphael McManus wrote: "I am convinced the great tragedy is not the sins that we commit, but the life we fail to live."

Andrea Bocelli: "You will not have greatness until you understand that the strongest muscle is the heart. To me that's the soul of the Olympic Games."

Anonymous: "The face can speak of a thousand emotions but it can easily mask what the heart truly feels. Don't be fooled for the happiest face may be masking the most hurting heart."

ang uod

Isang araw, ako’y ginulat ng isang maliit na maya nang ito’y dumapo sa halaman malapit sa kinatatayuan ko. Tila baga sumisid ang ibon sa kanyang pagdapo. Isang malaking berdeng uod pala ang kanyang pakay. At sa bigat marahil sa kanyang tuka ay ito’y nalaglag sa aking harapan.

“Hmm, ano kaya ang kanyang gagawin?” tanong ko sa sarili. Walang takot na dinampot ng ibon ang uod. Pakiwari ko ay sinabi niya sa aking, “Huwag mong agawin ang aking hapunan!” Kapagdaka, ito ay dumapo sa isang sanga at lumingon na tila nagpapasalamat..

At hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan ang mga titig na yaon!

For a very short while, I felt a recognition of and a connection to that tiny life. I experienced the warm breath of precious life. Para bang nagsasabing “ako’y isang buhay at nilalang na dapat mong maramdaman.” And for a long moment, I gazed, as a sacred window of life opened!

There, is the Creator and there, are the wonderful images and reflections of Him!

O, anong ganda at dakila, anong hiwaga ng biyaya ng buhay!
Lalo na at ito ay tigib ng pag-asa at pananalig!

Ang KC ay ganito marahil sa marami sa atin – isang pagkakataon na masilayang muli ang kagandahan at kadakilaan ng Puong Maykapal at arukin ang Kanyang mga talinhaga sa iba’t-ibang kaparaanan – sa pamamagitan kaya ng kalikasan, o kaya’y ng mga pinagtagni-tagning kwento ng buhay, pakikibahagi, pagsasama-sama, at pakikibaka.

Sa ilan, ito marahil ay panahon ng matimtimang pakikinig kagaya nang pag-upo ni Maria sa paanan ng dakilang Guro. O kaya’y panahon ng masidhing pagtatanong kagaya nang nakagawian ng labin-dalawang alagad. O dili kaya’y pagkakataon para buong pagmamahal na hugasan ng luha, punasan ng buhok at pahiran ng pabango ang mga paa ng Guro. Isang pagtugon sa tawag ng pagpapatawad at pananalig. Isang paghuhunos-dili o pagbabagong-buhay!

But for many of us, this can be a Gethsemane where, like Him, we will need to face life’s final crossroad and confront its ultimate call! That is, the call for obedience (and faithfulness) in all areas of life, however, costly it may be. After all, His was never a cheap grace! His was a love divine!

His was a life surrendered, never his own!
A life to honor the King of kings and the LORD of the universe!
Come! Let us, altogether landmark and celebrate this kind of life in KC!

Isang mapagpala at mapalayang pagbati at pagtanggap sa bagong kabuuan ng mga tinawag – mga kapwa ko kabataan, mga anak ng Hari, mga tagasunod ng Guro, kapwa ko Filipino!

TULOY PO KAYO!

(attempts to welcome the new batch of kc delegates! hmmm, living proof of a journeying father even in the midst of deep insecurities and great uncertainties... amidst all the struggles and abounding fears... inside a crucible under the hottest furnace!)

it's full circle

two years!
no!
it's three.

write
some more

reflect
contemplate

landmark
articulate

capture
engage

healing conversations

Sacred moments of coming together can bring healing conversations. That's what happened to gartogcel (supposedly a kuya) and me last weekend. On my way to my brother's house, I passed by their porch and there they are - husband and wife - sitting on the stairs, our fave spot. Since it was a weekend, joining them for a short chit-chat is surely not a crime, so I thought. But, alas! The short chit-chat was turned to a long unexpected healing conversation! Speaking of surprises!

We talked of many miracles, counting and recounting countless grace moments, many of them concealed in crucibles - teh fiery furnace of purifying, purging, the push and pull of the One and the human. There was the provisions of exact needs for vacationa airfares, the exact nine thousands for the whole family, the constant wrestling mode of the wicked human soul on the One's mysterious and never likeable ways, the pushing of what we thought to be the best for us and our capacities, the pride of life, the discontentment and questionings, the strong controlling grip on things, events, and even spirituality, itself... All of man's limitations and mistakes! All of the One's patient coaching and guiding, selfless and enduring love!

Confessions upon confessions, questions upon questions, realizations and reflections, all sacred, all divine, all mysterious, all beautiful. The taming, the molding, all the pains, all the tears. Yet, all the beauty emerging - pure, true, lovely, admirable, praiseworthy, good!

Motiffs of relinguishing, surrender, losing all forms of control, going out of the box!

Acceptance, trusting, loving...
Faith, hope, love!
Peace and joy!
LIFE...

Never-ending quest for His path, His direction, His truth!

How come we never learn? How come He never gives up on us?